Sunday, August 9, 2009


my grandmother has a blog. she's a feisty almost-80-year-old with a million grandchildren and even more friends, she's on facebook, and she updates her family weekly with the goingson of just about everyone. i bet obama is on her mailing list, lucky guy.

anyway, i began this blog in the hopes of writing more, maybe gaining some kind of cohesion, and ultimately to stimulate the typing/theoretical/verbal side of my brain which generally goes a bit dormant during the summer (or, any time between 7 am and...). the address for this blog is tucked neatly into the top left hand corner of my browser window, the first icon i see. it's been intimidating me all weekend. the reason i have refrained from 'posting' on my 'blog' is the simple fact that i lack focus. 

i have lots to say. i have too much to say. i don't know that any of it is even worthy of air and sound, but there's lots that could take such form. i could write about all the craigslist posting that drives me crazy because no one seems to know that your and you're are entirely different things, somewhat similar to the relationship between its and it's. i could write about bike things on craigslist, like peddles (that means, s/he/it sells something) on bikes that won't stop because 'there' wheels don't have good 'breaks'. i shouldn't have started. this could go on for days. i will stop here. however, i still have lots to say. too much. my brother noted that a new friend of his talks really quickly. i mentioned that it might be because she's a teacher, and as such, she may be used to ever-shortening attention spans in overcrowded classrooms and has thereby adapted a hastened pace of verbal communication in the hopes of effectively communicating within the reduced time frame available (this is about 5-90 seconds, depending on demographic). ironically, focus has now become a problem for me. please pass the Ritalyn.

alright. so today's exercise will be focus. i will focus on one topic, write, and end. i will likely attempt this again, per post, to eventually yield some kind of text that errs more on the side of interesting than that of blithering.

upgrading is a dangerous disease. it is based in the 1950s-esque tradition of creating envy, whereby an audience is recognized for what they are/have, but told explicitly that they could be better/complete/happier/______er if only they bought this. it is within my heritage, culturally and genetically, to like stuff, particularly gear. it is also within my heritage to be subject to–and base my self-worth upon–the judgement of others. i am the perfect audience. i think i'm alright, but i will believe you if you tell me that i'm alright, and i'll believe you again if you tell me that i only need this to be better, to be my ideal self. i know this, because tyler knows this.

my bike is a technological wonder. not only does it shove my sorry ass up hills faster than i would ever go unassisted, but it's pretty, resilient, and it works! further to its technological wonder status is the fact that it is quite a frankenbike, built through the extensive network of ebay, craigslist, various online vendors, local shops, friends, foes, and even a box of shotgun ammo. (that's right.) up until this spring, the bike had a part from every line campagnolo put out, ranging in age from early 1990s to the mid 2000s. the ever-changing bar tape is the only thing that isn't older than my lease. and all this to say that i recently thought about stripping the whole thing and starting anew with a complete, coherent, maybe even focused groupset. i thought about carbon fiber things. i thought about titanium nuts. i thought about (ridiculously) eleven speeds. don't worry though: i stopped thinking as soon as i thought about other things, like re-building yet another wheel, changing the bar tape, again (it is currently perforated, red, and absolutely perfect), and ultimately, my bank account/unemployment/fiscal responsibility/beer fund. my bike will remain the technological wonder it is. i will adjust the rear derailleur once i get the barrel adjuster hole re-tapped. the shifting will return to normal. and i will have saved myself $698.47 USD including shipping and handling. damn it... 

i was almost enviable.

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